Monday, March 28, 2011
Ask me why didn’t I try and save it from missing? Ask me why didn’t I do something about it instead of just whining? Ask me, ask me away dear friend.
I did. I DID do something about it.
But perhaps, they just didn’t work. They just didn’t seem to work. Never knew it took me double the effort to just maintain a friendship among us friends. It took a lot of courage to take care them. I tried, for months and months and I was once tired. Too much of people talks and issues with oneself they made me felt like it was worthless keeping them taken care of. I was dissapointed with them myself, for I thought I was the only one who was trying to make effort and patching things up between us while them.? I was disenchanted so I thought I might want to back off and took a rest. So I left my friendship tree which once I grew with the people I love. It could have grown well if I wasn't that keen to leave.
But told you, the ignorance is the silent murderer. I always wanted to come back, be there where I left and tried making things right but when I realize it was just too late. It’s now will never be the same as it was. I don’t blame the people around me for this to happen but I feel disgust with myself for letting it to happen. Where’s my vow that once I used to confess? Where were I when they needed me and others left? I lost my faith in them and now I guess karma is paying me price for being an ignorant as a friend.
I always wanted you to know, I might not gonna say anything when we bump onto each other one day, I deserve not, but deep down, I will always be there as friend and forever, I wish I could make up for all the wrong doings I’ve done. I learnt that taking care of many hearts is the hardest part in friendship for once it’s broken it’s hard to mend but I too learnt that by doing nothing is the worst out of all it builds barriers that only separate us all.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
But besides those aching eyes there's yet another thing that made me realize how changed I've been now. Something that if I look at it back I'll be forever down :"( I'm not getting any skinnier, in fact TUBBIER THAN USUAL. *coverfacewithpalms* Yeah truee I've been feeling it all this while but it's just, just not convincing enough that I'd go that stout X___X They say season comes and go and people never change well I guess Tinie Tempah is damn right for singing that out. Fock I hate it being me now but it's just hard not to stuff yourself even a single day. Perhaps cause I barely sweat so those fats remain safely untouched happily hanging onto my thighs, underarms and cheeks and whatever nots. >____<
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
It’s been almost 5 years since I wrote a letter with an actual pen and actual sheet of paper. But I thought maybe I could write you now and tell you all that happens since I saw you last.
Problem with time that I’ve learnt whether it was 2 weeks I got to spend with you or those final 2 months I got to spend with him, eventually time always runs out.
I have no idea where you are out there in the world John. But I understand that I’ve lost the right to know this thing long ago. No matter how many years go by, I know one thing to be as true as it ever was … I’ll see you soon then.